Saying no also means saying yes

You might or might not know, but in a previous professional life, I was a Software Engineer working with Data and AI and all the fancy things in the glamourous tech hub of Berlin.

I got a Master’s in Computer Science, I was working in one of the most exciting companies out there, my career was progressing, and I was given more and more responsibilities.

After doubting myself for years, I eventually decided to stop. I started studying facilitation and methodologies to help my team collaborate better, and eventually, I stumbled upon coaching.

I fell in love with the impact it could have on teams and individuals, and I never looked back.

This week, in Copenhagen for the 4Water Congress, a friend was telling me how she is going through a very similar experience. Stuck in a job that doesn’t fill her heart, and at the same time unsure about whatever she can do to get out of it.

Walking on her side, strolling along the Nyhavn Canal, I could see her feeling a whole set of things I know very well..

  • Self-distrust – How could I put all that effort into a career I ended up not liking? Will I be able to trust my guts again?

  • Broken pride and self-blaming –  I used to be so proud when I was telling people what my job was. It was truly linked to my identity. How will I tell people that I chickened out of it?

  • Lost – I had a very clear path in front of me, and now I find myself really unsure about what to do next and which skills I need to get there.

If you know me, you know that I like to point out: Change is scary AF.

I chose not to go further with my tech career for very good reasons.

I said no to life as a woman in tech so that I could say yes to a different kind of life, more true and aligned to me.

I said yes to flexible working hours.

I said yes to working with people and topics I really care about.

I said yes to my creativity and found pleasure in working again.

I said yes to becoming as fully and wholeheartedly as I could be rather than going ahead and being a successful and well-paid professional in a career I don’t love.

All of my yes-es created that one big, scary no.

And that one big no allowed me to have all of those yes-es. Yes to my truth and yes to my gold.

Ask yourself…

If you feel changing your current situation is too hard:

What’s the cost of not changing absolutely anything and leaving everything as it is?

It is a brave and hard path to take, and everything you need to get started is:

  • Working on your self-awareness: a consistent mindfulness practice will help to get you to know yourself so well, and you’ll be able to blindly trust your gust in your future choices.

  • Join a Community: relating to people going through similar challenges will help you realise that what you’re going through is much more common than you realise and will help you find perspective.

  • Ask for help: don’t be afraid to ask for help. Your current support network of friends and family is absolutely valid, but a professional help of a Coach, Mentor or Therapist can help you create and reach your vision much more effectively and faster while preserving your equilibrium through it.

If you need any kind of help, please don’t hesitate to reach out. We can have a free discovery call and find out how we can work together and support you along this journey.

Thank you for reading until here.

Much love,